C H A N G E

While preparing my lesson plan for my TESOL class, I came across this quote: "Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself."

Simple words yet it had me thinking that I am sometimes like that... I am very much aware that our very survival depends on our ability to stay awake, to adjust to new ideas, to remain vigilant and to face the challenge of change. This has been one of the major principles in my life. In order for there to be growth, there must be change. I have been telling other people about that. I tell it over and over again that it has no impact on me anymore. It's time I say something new to myself...to be in touch with myself...for me to change for the better.

I've realized that change has a considerable psychological impact on me, so it might be the same for others:
-If I am fearful... change is threatening because it means things may get worse.
-If I am hopeful...change is encouraging because things may get better.
-If I am confident...change is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.

I have learned something new:The joy of life consists in the exercise of one's energies, continual growth, constant change, the enjoyment of every new experience. The eternal mistake of mankind is to set up an attainable ideal. We are greater than all of our worries, problems and heartaches.

To stop means simply to die.

We have that gift to live life to the fullest...

It doesn't mean we have to be superheroes or special or extraordinary...All excesses are inimical to Nature. It is safer to proceed a little at a time, especially when changing from one regimen to another.

To change is to be vulnerable.

And to be vulnerable is to be alive.

Sayonera...I mean Sayonara User!!!

Who would've thought that I just stayed home during the holy week? Of course I initially had plans but decided not to push through with it because I needed some serious contemplating...and yes some hours of sleep as well.

I have to admit, the first quarter of year 2009 was very challenging and my schedule of commitments is inevitable. But of course, I value the importance of spending quality time with family and friends. Though most of the time I felt that that eagerness is a one way street...I didn't mind at all. But of course being human, I got fed up going through the same scenario over and over again. For some, I simply kept my distance and built an imaginary wall. It's not that I don't love them anymore, I just love myself more.

But i want to specifically talk about one particular person. At one time or another, people close to me suspected that this person whom I thought was my friend or even a family member was using me. It’s never a good feeling when you find out that someone you love or care about does not feel the same way about you and is in fact using you only for their own benefit. This can be very upsetting, especially when you first discover the truth.

I can't afford to be very generous but I'm never particular about money either. But being insulted for 300 pesos right to your face would wake up the demons you didn't even know you had. And that's what this bitch did to me. This bitch who shoved this cheap perfume even though I didn't order for it, and I ended up getting it anyway kasi nakaka awa naman siya. But she was so kapal to make singil as if delayed na ako for payment. And when I simply asked to pay her the next day because I didn't want to get out of the office and go to my car to get my money, would smirk at me as if I owe her big time! And mind you, she did that in front of our colleagues. The nerve of that galisin bitch! Oh and by the way, this is the same bitch who owes me 100 times that freakin' 300 pesos and made pakiusap for so many times that she couldn't pay! Kapal di ba?

The story above might seem a little petty. But that's the last straw... And there's more to that than how it seems to be. I don't need to go into details. I just know that now it's final: I loathe her. I detest everything about her. And I have got to release all these negative feelings somehow. God forgive me for the things I could think of doing to her... But I am so pissed off.

I just remembered something I have read sometime ago...There is a very thin line between love and hate.

And I have crossed that line.

My bestfriend is now my most hated enemy.

Tagpi - tagpi

I took a picture. I couldn't even identify the object. I mean I couldn't call it by a name because I don't know what it is. It's someone else's work of art; I didn't even bother getting the artist's name. I just felt like taking a shot of it from my cam.

As I was transferring it from my cam to my PC, I finally figured out why my interest was perked up and I even named this work 'tagpi-tagpi'...just like my life. I'm not complaining...I'm just saying that I'm still in the process of figuring my life out...

Blogging again? Nah...just passing by...

There has been so much going on, I have no idea where to start back up. I know that I stated I would try to write as often as I can, maybe even every other day…and I still have that thought going in my mind. But with the start of 2009 it just got to be too much. So no time like the present to get back into the writing.

I have not had time…I know who does. But it is rather frustrating. I used to write most of the time. Now it is so sporadic. So I have decided that this needs to stop. I need to have an outlet! I would say I need to blog always, but I realize that it is never going to happen. So I opted to spend at least an hour after work, three times a week, to pamper myself. Not one day this week did I go directly home from work. Someone complained... what else is new?

And so while splurging on my pampering hour the other day, someone told me that I have way too much love in me not to be seeing someone else. Nice sentiment, but wasted. Oh well, one surely get something like this because most people think that love is always meant for another person.

Anyway, this weekend I decided that I wanted to rearrange my place. I was supposed to go somewhere, but had this overwhelming feeling about needing a change. I had been sitting around catching up on television shows and being really lazy, but then a sudden spark was implanted in me. But I never got the chance to do any re arranging because I had some VIP's invading my house...and so we had some great night out instead. It may be a guilty pleasure, but it was so worth it!

WEIRD WEEKEND

After months and months of waiting for the "package" which I thought was so big...the only big I have had was disappointment! With all the press releases and marketing brouhahas, the said "package" was so small I could even hold it with 3 fingers! And then, there's some psychos whom after cancelling a confirmed appointment, would curse and blame kasi "di daw natuloy"....

Grrr, talk about a weird weekend!

LOYAL BUT NOT FAITHFUL

I know...I know...
The answer to that million dollar question..."Why haven't you been blogging all this time?" is...Oh well, I simply got bored!

For those who truly know me would just nod their heads in agreement...Yep, one of my weaknesses is that I'm never the "stick to one" kind of person...But of course I don't go around flaunting it while stepping on other people's toes...

I just do my own thing in a very subtle manner. Just like they way I did in my blogging...I simply hibernated.

Now...THE CATCH:

If I like something so much, even if I got bored and left...one thing's for sure - I go back sooner or later...

But if I got burned or choked or maybe missed out on the "chemistry thing" - I turn my back and leave and I will not even look back...

Yun pala yun....

I'm quite sure most of us Filipinos are aware that we are now 88million but I can also bet my orchids (borrow lang sa commercial) that not many Filipinos care about its consequences. It's always easier to blame the government or our parents or anyone for the poverty and other mishaps that we experience. It's human nature to be defensive and not take responsibility for what's happening. Life's like that...

So anyway, it was just supposed to be an ordinary teaching day for me at the office, but this morning, I have accidentally unlocked a mystery. Well, it's actually just a funny thought worth blogging but I just wanted to put a "poetic tone" into it: And so I say - unlock a mystery, hihihihi... Well, today's blog is about what could be the possible cause of the Philippine's skyrocketing population numbers...And the culprit??? MANGOES... Yup, people, our love for mangoes could be the reason of our unfaltering desire to express our love resulting to 88 million in numbers. In addition, India is the nation in which men are prescribed mango therapy to increase virility. India - the source of Kama Sutra and a nation which happens to have a vast amount of population as well.

So my fellow Filipinos...hindi lang pala bungang araw ang dala ng sobrang pagkain ng mangga; bungang tao rin pala! Hihihihihi....